Hello, friends!
Today will be a short post -- and while it is not a showtune, it is full of beautiful Broadway peoples. I'm loving this brilliant lip-synced montage of "What Makes You Beautiful" starring the cast and crew of Broadway's ANYTHING GOES (I think 1,000 of the 46,000+now 382,967+ views are probably from me). This is a truly amazing group of people ... and I hope to work alongside them one day. To the amazing people working at ANYTHING GOES: Thank you for inspiring me, and taking the time to share happiness. Brava for following your dreams! To my fellow DREAMERS: Don't give up. While no one may know exactly what you're going through, everyone struggles on the path to their dreams - and your fellow dreamers want to help you succeed. You are not alone.
... This is for YOU ~ Have a truly terrific Tuesday wherever you may be!
Yes, I know it's April; I seemed to have missed March completely!
I had so many moments of "this would make a great blog post" during the last couple months ... but alas, they never made it from my brain to the internet. Part of me (the over-achiever Marcy Park in me) wishes I could go back in time and post everything so you would know I'm "responsible" and "serious" about life. And blogging. And stuff. But a bigger part of me (the 93% of me that has come to terms with my new condemnation-free lifestyle) quickly squashes that "if you had just done more you'd be good enough" philosophy.
After all, no day but today, right? March was full of madness and theatre and friends and new experiences and opportunities -- no wonder I didn't have time and/or energy to blog! Sometimes it's easy to look around at everyone else and think "If I could do that, I would be happy/successful/awesome/etc." -- but a lot of times, they aren't the things we want at all. They're the things that will kill us (figuratively speaking...I hope). I sometimes long for the ability to be uber organized and have a set schedule for ease of mind ... but then I remember that I HAVE lived like that before and HATED it. It went against who I was and kept me focusing on my weaknesses and I didn't have time to use my strengths ... I spent all day doing things that drained my energy and I lived in the world of "not-good-enough" and I never had time or energy for things that made me happy and fueled my soul!
Today? I wrote a scene for a play, did 5 loads of laundry, got paid to be creative and make a room look pretty, spent some time bird-watching in the atrium my backyard, and STILL had energy left over to write this post! Yay!
One of my friends shared a quote with me recently that I absolutely LOVE:
Disciplined living gets you admired - Passionate living is contagious.
I so greatly desire to live passionately and give the people around me a chance to get excited about the possibilities that surround us every day. It's easy to be passionate about life and believe in the beauty of your dreams when those are exactly the things that surround you! When you live in your strengths and do what you love, it's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy easier to be passionate!
The song I want to share with you today is "Change It" from 9 to 5: The Musical sung by the Original Broadway Cast featuring: Megan Hilty, Stephanie J. Block, and Allison Janney. And as is custom: here's one to listen & one to watch.
"Something gotcha down?
Gotcha chained and bound?
Well, break it."
"If you don't take the reins,
It's gonna stay the same.
Nothin's gonna change
If you don't change it."
"Something in your life
Isn't sitting right
Then fix it."
"...You're made of better stuff
And you can change it."
"You don't want your little light to never shine.
Turn it on and get your
Goals in line!"
"When the road is dark and cold
Walk on...
Fearing not..."
Hey there -- the past couple weeks have been crazy for me! Between moving (and decorating my new digs), directing/working, and embracing a healthier lifestyle ... well, it's been busy!
This is my year of making dreams happen (and it can be yours, too!) so I finally gathered the courage/strength to make changes in my life. After all, why be miserable with the things you can control? One of my dear friends has taken on the role of my health coach, and others have joined me in shedding both the pounds and doubt that have plagued us for years.
The first three days of my "healthy, happy me" journey, I wanted to do a post about "Food, Glorious Food" from Oliver!, and the next few I had "Whipped into Shape" from Legally Blonde: The Musical constantly running through my mind ... well, I still do, actually. But I don't necessarily want to talk to you about losing weight or working out -- those are the things on the surface. WHY I'm doing them is something I think you'll be able to relate to a bit more.
I think for a long time I was just ... waiting. Dreaming of the day the Wizard would ask "Would it be alright by you, if I de-greenify you?" As if someone could just walk up to me and take away all my problems. But that's how a lot of fairy tales go, right? Sometimes we forget that we must dream as well as act (and I don't necessarily mean on stage!). If we don't fight for something, there's a good chance we won't fight to keep it. And I don't know about you, but I want my dreams to last.
One of my biggest dreams for the year is to get back to being the healthy, athletic, energetic person I used to be. And I'm not waiting anymore ... It's a struggle -- creating new habits, resisting the temptation to grab a handful of cookies at an event - or having a salad when we go out to eat instead of a burger and fries. But two weeks into my resolution, and I already feel better/more energetic/more hopeful.
I tried on my skinny jeans this morning -- and THEY FIT! What a great feeling -- knowing that your hard work is not for naught.
I don't know what challenges you are trying to overcome, and what goals feel just out of reach, but let me encourage you to take another step closer to your dreams. What's holding you back? Time? Money? Resources? Chances are there's someone in your life already who is looking for a chance to use their gift, and it's just the thing you're missing.
My friend that's taken on the role as my health coach? She loves healthy living and has been looking for a way to make good use of her talents and share her passion.
You're not alone -- take a deep breath and reach out to those around you. You may be surprised at how much better you'll be together.
This week's song -- in the spirit of togetherness and the idea that people are just looking for a way to help you succeed -- is "Don't Let Me Go" from Shrek: The Musical, sung brilliantly by Daniel Breaker as Donkey.
"You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!
Well maybe you do.
But that’s why we gotta stick together!"
"Just hear me out! I might surprise you.
I'll be a friend, when others despise you.
Don't roll your eyes! Stop with the mopin’.
You need a pal! My calendar’s open!"
"You and me, we belong together.
Like butter and grits, like kibbles and bits,
Like yin and yang -- sturm und drang -- like Eng and Chang,
Attached at the hip, but not an old lady hip that might break!"
The last few days have been a whirlwind ... I have had a lot of good times this week ... and some unexpected hardships.
Maybe you have weeks like this too -- where you make extra effort and everything is going swimmingly and just about the time you start to take a step back and think, "Wow. I'm finally making progress!" Something falls apart, and leaves you worse off than before as you start to feel your life spiral out of control. Again.
It's been one of those weeks. . . Where you make "I should've known better" mistakes. Those are the worst.
Example #1: Lost my car key (silly mistakes: took it off my key-chain, put it in a shallow pocket and it fell out).
Example #2: overdraft fees at the bank (silly mistake: paid a bill with a check and forgot to write it down).
I'm sure there's more, but those are the first ones that come to mind.
I also had a massive fallout with someone whom I considered to be a dear friend. And the worst part? I don't even know why. I'm sure one day I'll find out, but I almost don't want to know. Is that bad? I know we're not supposed to hold grudges, and bitterness does the heart no good whatsoever ... even still, I was so shocked and hurt by how this person treated me, that my overreacting-prone heart wondered if we were ever friends? That is, of course, completely untrue. But it surprised and saddened me -- I had moments of doubt, anger, sorrow, angst, hopelessness, and bewilderment. All in about 20 minutes!
It made me look at some other aspects of my life -- my health in particular. I get all gung-ho about eating well and working out, and sooner or later I always seem to fizzle out in my attempts to become a better me. Why? What makes me feel like giving up so easily? Maybe it's the truth of my situation -- that it's going to take time and a lot of hard work. Maybe it's habit -- I am used to being viewed a certain way, and even though I want so badly to be the healthy, fit Suzy that I used to be, I'm worried that the world will reject me & I won't have my looks to blame it on anymore. Maybe it's excuses -- too tired, too stressed, too busy, too much of something-or-other.
Whatever it is, it gets in the way -- and I'm done blaming life.
If I don't like the way I look, it's in my power to change it.
If a relationship isn't uplifting, it's in either party's power to change it.
Maybe I haven't taken advantage of opportunities that have come my way ... Maybe I have let the mistakes I've made distract me from the progress I'm making.
I don't have all the answers -- hence the ever-present "maybe" in this post ....
but I have learned a lot about myself and those around me this week.
What's that quote about friendship being less about how long someone stood by your side & more about those who came and never left? Maybe there's more truth to that than I realized.
In any case -- I have encountered unexpected blessings for every sudden hardship this week ... and in the same way that the friends & family who have continued to stand by me have made all the difference this week, I want to make a stronger effort to "stand by" my goals and see them through to success. Some things aren't worth walking away from, no matter how hard life gets.
This week's song is one that I've had on repeat practically all day -- "I Know the Truth" from Aida. The lyrics are filled with a plaintive questioning that speaks deeply to my heart at the present. Here are two versions -- the first is from the Original Broadway Cast, sung by Sherie Rene Scott & the second is from a YMTA production, sung by Rachael Schunk (one to listen, one to watch -- whichever you prefer!):
"How have I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?"
"This should have been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can."
"I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of shift in a star
But I know the truth and it haunts me."
"How to go on with the rest of my life
To pretend I don't care?
This should've been my time
It's over; it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can."
"Oh I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
I learned it a little too late
Too late."
It's been a pretty incredible week for me, I have to admit. Not that it's all been perfect -- by any means. But I feel like I've taken some much needed steps on the journey to my dreams.
In talking with a dear friend, I realized that some of the surface-y things that bother me in my day-to-day life are caused by deep-rooted issues that I've never taken time to confront. Things like never feeling good enough, questioning my purpose on this earth, and feeling that the pursuit of my dreams is selfish. They play out in my life as feeling lazy, trying to work enough to justify theatre, and worrying about things that I have no control over. Like I said -- deep stuff.
The kind of stuff that isn't fun to talk about ... issues that are frustrating. I like to avoid that kind of stuff; always look on the bright side of life, right? But it was freeing to finally face these chains that have been holding me back. I've let fleeting comments from people sink deep into my heart and sway my actions over the years. . . I've allowed the Truth to be replaced with lies that I have chosen to believe instead.
Woah, Suzy, you might be thinking, what does this have to do with Broadway?
Everything.
I have always loved that Musical Theatre is a reflection of life, raw feelings, and the knowledge that even when we don't have an answer for something, we have a song.
So, this is my song. I don't have answers for what comes next -- but I don't want to forget the revelations that I had this week. They are a testament to progress being made, a bookmark in a previous chapter, a marker on this winding road called life.
Therefore, this week's song choice is none other than: "I Know Where I've Been" from Hairspray, sung by Queen Latifah. Not the Broadway version, I know -- but I just love me some Queen Latifah. Can you blame me?
I know this song is about race and equality -- but the idea that you can get through tomorrow because you haven't forgotten yesterday is a powerful way to look at life, no matter who you are or what you're facing. Our past does not define us, it makes us ready for the future.
"There's a light
Burning bright
Showing me the way
But I know where I've been."
"There's a dream
In the future
There's a struggle
That we have yet to win
And there's pride
In my heart
'Cause I know
Where I'm going."
"Oh! When we win,
I'll give thanks to my God
'Cause I know where I've been."
